California Smog Emissions

OK.
Officially.
I HATE CALIFORNIA.

Well...
Actually I hate the good laws of Smog Emissions because my poor VW bus HATES those laws with a 4 cylinder passion! (Nobody thinks VW busses can be haters, they're all love and flowers and doobies - well, those are just stigmas, dude. Don't cross an angry bus!) I think it's a great thing that they want cleaner emissions in California. I think it's fine that they won't grandfather vehicles in unless they are 30+ years old. What I don't like and don't understand is why on earth won't they let me put a frickin' catalytic converter on my bus so it can pass emissions?!?!?!

Yeah. My bus can't pass emissions. My bus is an out of state vehicle. Made to Federal standards from yesteryear (Don't even get me started on that tangent!) meaning it doesn't have a catalytic converter. BUT California won't let me put one on because modified cars are... well... they just say they won't let me. I'll look into that.

So I got the bus back from Tassi and they said they tweaked it out and it might even pass emissions without any extra hoo-hah in the tank to help out. Well, I wasn't going to take any chances, so I got this shit:

Guaranteed my ASS. Directions: Fill tank. Empty contents into tank. Run off gas until nigh empty. Fill tank. Take Smog test. Pass Smog test.

I did everything except the last step. I even put this shit in the next tank to boost my octane levels cuz higher octane burns cleaner, right?
WRONG.

I got the same emissions readings as before.
Something fishy, right?
Yeah I'm calling Tassi tomorrow. He's closed Monday cuz he's out surfing. Well, he'll be catching a wave of my anger all too soon.

Better try to sleep it off.
I went to the DMV to get an extension. I'll talk that story up tomorrow.